Your Help Requested

As you may have noticed, the YAM website has not been as active this semester as it was in it’s beginnings.  So, we are seeking your help . . . yes, you the faithful few readers . . . in how we can make this site become more of a service and outreach to both the YAM group and those not yet apart of what we have going on.

So, if you have any ideas, please drop them in the comment box to give us an idea of what would meet your needs (if you have any).

More laughs: Christmas Sweaters

I came across this dandy of a blog post and thought that it would be fun to pass along.  In fact, you could even print it out and bring it to the Christmas dinner on the 21st.  Wonder who would win??

“I think all women over the age of 40 have a hidden walk-in closet built into their houses that is full of bedazzled, bejeweled, and bespangled (which is a real word…click the link if you don’t believe me) Christmas sweaters. The day after Thanksgiving, they go into their secret chamber of wooly Christmas spirit and arrange the shelves of the closet like an advent calendar of sweatery splendor. They adorn each one proudly, with the majesty and merriment of all the snow angels in the world.

So, here’s the big question: how can you know if your Christmas sweater is truly Christmawesome?

Official Point System of Sweater Christmaweseomeness:

1. If your sweater has a nativity scene = +1 point

2. If your sweater has lights on it = +1 point

3. If your light is for Rudolph’s nose = -1 point

4. If your light is for the star of Bethlehem over your nativity scene = +4 points

5. If your sweater has actual bells and whistles from the Polar Express tied on by pieces of yarn = +2 points

6. If you can hear the bells = -2 points

7. If every time one of the bells rings, you get excited because an angel just got its wings = + 1 point

8. If your sweater has Luke 2 written out on it (the entire chapter) = +3 points

9. If it is KJV = +2 points

10. If it is actually a puff paint sweatshirt, which is really just a Christmas sweater wannabe = -3 points

11. If your sweater was knitted from the wool of a Bethlehemian sheep = +5 points

12. If you have more than 5 snowmen/women on your sweater = +2 points (+1 point for each additional snowperson)

13. If any of your snowmen are inspired by Calvin and Hobbes = +4 points

14. If it is a maternity sweater that reads “Mary is My Homegirl” = +10 points

15. If your sweater has stockings with your kids’ names on it = +1 point for each child

16. If the stockings are your kids’ used socks = -2 points for each sock

17. If it has a 3-D hologram of baby Jesus on it = +3 points

18. If it has candy canes on it = -4 points… I’m going to use this platform of SCL to take a stand against candy canes, a.k.a. carnage canes. Candy canes become sharp and dangerous once licked. It’s like putting an ice pick in your mouth and poking it around. I’m sorry, but if I want the flavors of mint and blood to mix in my mouth, I’ll go to the dentist. This injustice needs to stop now, so we’re starting a boycott of candy canes effective immediately. I think it’s the Southern Baptist roots in me that really wanted to start a boycott. That’s why I started Humans Against Candy Knives, or H.A.C.K. Join the fight on the Facebook group I started.

19. If it has any other kind of cane on it= +2 points. This could be one of the wise men’s canes, sugar canes, or even hurricanes. Just as long as they’re not candy canes.

How did you score?

0-3 points= Sorry to break the news, but you might be a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.
4-7 points= You’re rockin’ a mighty fine piece of holiday merriment, my friend. Just don’t wear your sweater and your light up reindeer antlers at the same time. That would be tacky.
8-10 points= “Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor, and clothe yourself in honor and majesty.” –Job 40:10
11-13 points= Bill Cosby called. He wants his sweater back.
14+ points= You are the embodiment of Christmawesomeness. There are probably three men coming from afar to shower you with gifts as you read this.
Less than zero points= Apparently you love candy canes.

How Christmawesome are your Christmas sweaters?”

What if CCBC was run like the airlines?

Found this Friday fun on the internet by Todd Rhoades (I don’t know him; just want to give credit).  Thought it would be fun to repost here for a little humor. Feel free to add some more in the comments. How much do you think we could make on an average Sunday?

“I travel quite a bit, and have been watching all the up-charges that the airlines have been passing on to customers. From paying for the first checked bag, to fuel surcharges, to purchasing soft drinks, they have really socked it to the consumer with all the new charges. I was thinking… particularly during this economic trying time for many churches, maybe we should take some advice from the airlines. Here are some things that I think we could take from the airline world and apply to our churches that might help get us through these trying times: “

–First donut free; each additional donut is 75 cents.

–All aisle seats are now $10/week. Back row premium seating available for $20 per week.

–First ear plug is free. Additional earplugs just $5 each.

–iPod rental with a Perry Noble sermon – $20 upcharge

Oh… there’s more…

–Valet parking:  $20 plus tip

–No Bible charge: $10

–Cell phone ringing during service:  $50 one time charge

–Late to service fee:  $10/pp

–”Sing that chorus one less time” request:  $20

–Nursery diaper change fee:  $5/lb.

–KJV upgrade to NIV:  $15

–U-PIC the sermon topic:  $250

–Hit job on the organist (rates vary per city/church)

–Online tithing discount rate:  8%

–Music Volume Up fee:  $20

–Music Volume Down fee:  $20

Fast Cash!

You better watch me!

Just a quick note . . . we are looking for childcare for Friday night from 6:15-8:30 at the church for our Leadership Banquet.  You’ll get $20 plus a good meal.  Let Scott know ASAP if you are interested.  Call him at the church at 239-2129 or email him at sdavis1611@gmail.com.

The Miscellaneous . . .

Hello beloved . . . wanted to hit you all with a few quick items of interest. 

First, please begin to be in prayerful consideration of who you will want to nominate to serve as a deacon for the upcoming church year.  Terms vary, but the committment and character required do not.  We need godly men who are willing to serve in a timely manner and who will fulfill their responsibilities without extensive oversight.  They must have good character, be intimately involved in the life of the church, and willing to stand for what is right.  The number of men we are looking for eludes me at the moment . . . but the congregation has the responsibility to nominate these men.  You will get a ballot on Sunday and they are due on Wednesday.

Second, we have some childcare needs that are upcoming.  Namely, on Friday August 22 from 6:00-8:30, we are having a very important leadership banquet to unveil our Fall planning.  Every Sunday School teacher, youth leader, committee head, etc, is being asked to be there – which means most of our normal child care workers are not available.  I believe we will pay $15 plus a free meal.  Please let me know if you are interested!

Maranatha!

Oh Boy(d)!

This past Sunday was our first Sunday of the new SS format and many of the attenders enjoyed a friendly game of Ultimate Frisbee afterwards.  I was not there, so Angela W. has graciously offered up this 100% completely accurate first-hand account of the days events:

The funny thing is . . . I didn’t even want to play in the first place.

• 85 degrees outside, with a heat index that made it feel more like 100
• A bunch of way too competitive guys who would play as if their next meal depended on whether or not they won the game
• And a stomach so full of food from the SS meal earlier that I thought I was going to fall over

But for some reason, I let myself get talked into playing anyway.  “It’s just for a while,” they said.  “It’ll be fun,” they promised.  Right.

At first it wasn’t as bad as I thought.  The guys were even behaving!  The only time I messed up was when someone tried to throw the frisbee to me overhand like a baseball – not once, but twice (we won’t name names!).  At one point, someone on my team dropped the frisbee and the other team took possession.  As our defense stepped up to the challenge their drive down the field, I found myself face to face with a sight so terrifying that it can hardly be described – the offensive force that is Adam Boyd!

Our eyes locked.  I could see that he was ready to make a big play, but I was just as ready to stop one.  He tried several times to fake a pass, only to realize that my defense was unshakable.  Unstoppable.  He pulls his arm back, ready to pass downfield, and I take a step forward to block it . . . hands held high . . . arms outstretched . . .

 . . . and I found out I wasn’t unstoppable after all.  Apparently the offensive force that is A Boyd throws a frisbee like an NFL quarterback, and my outstretched hand was just one small obstacle in the way of his receiver.  CRACK came his fist (with frisbee in hand) right onto my right hand resulting in quite an impressive fracture almost from joint to joint.  However, as I became dizzy from the pain, I remember clearly looking behind me where the frisbee had been aimed . . . and seeing it hit the ground instead of the receiver’s hands.

Score one for my unstoppable defense!