What if CCBC was run like the airlines?

Found this Friday fun on the internet by Todd Rhoades (I don’t know him; just want to give credit).  Thought it would be fun to repost here for a little humor. Feel free to add some more in the comments. How much do you think we could make on an average Sunday?

“I travel quite a bit, and have been watching all the up-charges that the airlines have been passing on to customers. From paying for the first checked bag, to fuel surcharges, to purchasing soft drinks, they have really socked it to the consumer with all the new charges. I was thinking… particularly during this economic trying time for many churches, maybe we should take some advice from the airlines. Here are some things that I think we could take from the airline world and apply to our churches that might help get us through these trying times: “

–First donut free; each additional donut is 75 cents.

–All aisle seats are now $10/week. Back row premium seating available for $20 per week.

–First ear plug is free. Additional earplugs just $5 each.

–iPod rental with a Perry Noble sermon – $20 upcharge

Oh… there’s more…

–Valet parking:  $20 plus tip

–No Bible charge: $10

–Cell phone ringing during service:  $50 one time charge

–Late to service fee:  $10/pp

–”Sing that chorus one less time” request:  $20

–Nursery diaper change fee:  $5/lb.

–KJV upgrade to NIV:  $15

–U-PIC the sermon topic:  $250

–Hit job on the organist (rates vary per city/church)

–Online tithing discount rate:  8%

–Music Volume Up fee:  $20

–Music Volume Down fee:  $20