New Yeay’s Eve Party!

We will be congregating at the most honorable Whitworth’s establishment around 7ish until whenever for New Year’s Eve! Come for the whole time or just stop by for a while during the evening – whatever your pleasure! Please bring a snack or goody to share and maybe a game or two to enjoy – bring a friend if you fancy! See you all there for some good times and fellowship!

**FYI – The picture included in this post was taken by Beth J.  They were sheets on a bed in one of the villages of Nepal – HA!

More laughs: Christmas Sweaters

I came across this dandy of a blog post and thought that it would be fun to pass along.  In fact, you could even print it out and bring it to the Christmas dinner on the 21st.  Wonder who would win??

“I think all women over the age of 40 have a hidden walk-in closet built into their houses that is full of bedazzled, bejeweled, and bespangled (which is a real word…click the link if you don’t believe me) Christmas sweaters. The day after Thanksgiving, they go into their secret chamber of wooly Christmas spirit and arrange the shelves of the closet like an advent calendar of sweatery splendor. They adorn each one proudly, with the majesty and merriment of all the snow angels in the world.

So, here’s the big question: how can you know if your Christmas sweater is truly Christmawesome?

Official Point System of Sweater Christmaweseomeness:

1. If your sweater has a nativity scene = +1 point

2. If your sweater has lights on it = +1 point

3. If your light is for Rudolph’s nose = -1 point

4. If your light is for the star of Bethlehem over your nativity scene = +4 points

5. If your sweater has actual bells and whistles from the Polar Express tied on by pieces of yarn = +2 points

6. If you can hear the bells = -2 points

7. If every time one of the bells rings, you get excited because an angel just got its wings = + 1 point

8. If your sweater has Luke 2 written out on it (the entire chapter) = +3 points

9. If it is KJV = +2 points

10. If it is actually a puff paint sweatshirt, which is really just a Christmas sweater wannabe = -3 points

11. If your sweater was knitted from the wool of a Bethlehemian sheep = +5 points

12. If you have more than 5 snowmen/women on your sweater = +2 points (+1 point for each additional snowperson)

13. If any of your snowmen are inspired by Calvin and Hobbes = +4 points

14. If it is a maternity sweater that reads “Mary is My Homegirl” = +10 points

15. If your sweater has stockings with your kids’ names on it = +1 point for each child

16. If the stockings are your kids’ used socks = -2 points for each sock

17. If it has a 3-D hologram of baby Jesus on it = +3 points

18. If it has candy canes on it = -4 points… I’m going to use this platform of SCL to take a stand against candy canes, a.k.a. carnage canes. Candy canes become sharp and dangerous once licked. It’s like putting an ice pick in your mouth and poking it around. I’m sorry, but if I want the flavors of mint and blood to mix in my mouth, I’ll go to the dentist. This injustice needs to stop now, so we’re starting a boycott of candy canes effective immediately. I think it’s the Southern Baptist roots in me that really wanted to start a boycott. That’s why I started Humans Against Candy Knives, or H.A.C.K. Join the fight on the Facebook group I started.

19. If it has any other kind of cane on it= +2 points. This could be one of the wise men’s canes, sugar canes, or even hurricanes. Just as long as they’re not candy canes.

How did you score?

0-3 points= Sorry to break the news, but you might be a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.
4-7 points= You’re rockin’ a mighty fine piece of holiday merriment, my friend. Just don’t wear your sweater and your light up reindeer antlers at the same time. That would be tacky.
8-10 points= “Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor, and clothe yourself in honor and majesty.” –Job 40:10
11-13 points= Bill Cosby called. He wants his sweater back.
14+ points= You are the embodiment of Christmawesomeness. There are probably three men coming from afar to shower you with gifts as you read this.
Less than zero points= Apparently you love candy canes.

How Christmawesome are your Christmas sweaters?”

What if CCBC was run like the airlines?

Found this Friday fun on the internet by Todd Rhoades (I don’t know him; just want to give credit).  Thought it would be fun to repost here for a little humor. Feel free to add some more in the comments. How much do you think we could make on an average Sunday?

“I travel quite a bit, and have been watching all the up-charges that the airlines have been passing on to customers. From paying for the first checked bag, to fuel surcharges, to purchasing soft drinks, they have really socked it to the consumer with all the new charges. I was thinking… particularly during this economic trying time for many churches, maybe we should take some advice from the airlines. Here are some things that I think we could take from the airline world and apply to our churches that might help get us through these trying times: “

–First donut free; each additional donut is 75 cents.

–All aisle seats are now $10/week. Back row premium seating available for $20 per week.

–First ear plug is free. Additional earplugs just $5 each.

–iPod rental with a Perry Noble sermon – $20 upcharge

Oh… there’s more…

–Valet parking:  $20 plus tip

–No Bible charge: $10

–Cell phone ringing during service:  $50 one time charge

–Late to service fee:  $10/pp

–”Sing that chorus one less time” request:  $20

–Nursery diaper change fee:  $5/lb.

–KJV upgrade to NIV:  $15

–U-PIC the sermon topic:  $250

–Hit job on the organist (rates vary per city/church)

–Online tithing discount rate:  8%

–Music Volume Up fee:  $20

–Music Volume Down fee:  $20